Notes Found on the Bulletin Board at Spoke County Community Center

Lost dog: call XXX-9678

Elocution lessons: learn how to speak good.

Slightly used Edsel:
Good condition
Hasn’t been driven since it ate my cat
Slight urine smell
Seats 3 comfortably

Dog missing: call XXX-9678

Is your religion the right one for you?
folloW thE brothers of the WhIte faLL
EArly TuesdaY OUtdoor meet ‘n greet!
Get a free hotdog and some soul counseling!

Found: toolbox
Some spanners, new hammer with suspicious stain on head
O-T-I-S painted on inside

Lose weight now, ask me how!

im reading this over your shoulder
……you dont scare me josh
………….yes i do
………………..stop leaving your bullshit on this board, I need to find my dog.

Free park concert:
Ichthys(a Phish coverband)
your favorite jam grooves, with a minty Christ flavor!
Phish sucks

Found dog: call XXX-9678

Lose wait not, ask me why!

AA meeting has been relocated from the dayroom
for Baseball card stop ‘n swap. Meeting will
take place at First Community Christchurch
one block down.

Estate sale: the late Jeremiah Melton
Hoarder house open to public!
“Whatever you don’t cart away, I’m gonna
burn.” –Steve Melton, grandnephew.

Self-defense classes now available
Rodney McManus, former Police Chief
and (accused and exonerated) sex offender will
give you the basics of how to deal with an attacker!

Loze wit new, axe me out

Twice as Nice adult novelties sidewalk sale!
Gently used personal massagers, kegel weights, and more!
Ask to see if you qualify for our “frequent flier” discount!

Call me: XXX-9678

Frank, I think I have your keys. Which begs the
question of how you got in last night.
I bought a gun, just fyi.

Come eat pizza with me: XXX-5540
I won’t feel you up or nothing
why you gotta be like that?

I don’t know who took my dog but the sumbitch won’t stop humming

Lot er fryt, ię tukk ph’r nkbütah

Stop taking my messages down, you dicks!

Found: Edsel
Please call XXX-1138
it ate my cat

 

Sandy I know you can read this: XXX-9678

I SEE YOU

Deus absconditus
Deus nisi deus
Deus nullus deus

Iä iä y’g nwy chtulu vad’en

CALL ME CALL ME CALL ME
CALL ME CALL ME CALL ME
CALL ME CALL ME CALL ME
CALL ME CALL ME CALL ME
CALL ME CALL ME CALL ME
CALL ME

Needed: exorcist.
Must be classically trained, take chest wounds well
NO EPISCOPALIANS!!

Lose weight. Now ask me how.

Found: ax
slight stain
O-T-I-S carved into handle
Call XXX-9678

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