Hey cutie!!!! Rise and shine sleepyhead, it’s time for a game!!!
The cup on this note is your half-caf, no foam, splenda sweetener(hope you still like it that way, lol) Drink it all up, you’ll need all your brainpower this morning, because I’ve arranged a SCAVENGER HUNT!
Take a sip.
Good, now that you’re all caffeinated, here’s your first clue:
Red, white, and blue, where you said you loved me true, I bear-ly remember the view.
Yay, you got it!!! Remember our third date at this build-a-bear workshop? I was so sad about losing my childhood Mr. Tibbles that you said you’d give him back to me? AND YOU DID!
Doin great babe!!! Now go to the place where we first kissed!!!!
Oh good, you remembered. I was half afraid you’d go to the pond where we spread the picnic blanket. That was NOT our first kiss, lol. Since you’re so good at remembering dates, go to the church that has the same name as our anniversary.
If you’re reading this at Our August Lady of the Dawn, you got it wrong. Don’t worry, I didn’t leave a note at the other church. I knew it was too much to hope that you remembered our real anniversary. DECEMBER, Michael.
It’s ok, dates are for history classes . lol, now go to the pet shop for a different kind of kitty cover…
Surprisies! You said I looked great in these, so I figured you should have them. Maybe she can wear them, too. Or is her ass smaller?
Anyway, go down to Coco Rancho for another kitty surprise.
Bet you weren’t expecting THAT, were you? I’m surprised too. It’s amazing I even got him here, he wouldn’t let me near him. I’ll bet my arm is scratched up worse that your back right now, lol.
Funny story, I just meant to tie him here and leave him, but he wouldn’t stop meowing, and I guess I don’t know my own strength…
Oh well, I guess you can get a new cat now, too.
WHOOPSY! Forgot to give a clue!!
Go to that whore’s house.
Don’t tell me there was nothing going on between you and Stephanie. I don’t care that she has a girlfriend, that didn’t stop YOU now did it?!!!
Go to our storage unit.
See? SEE?!!! It’s EVERYTHING we shared over our years together, every. Single. Piece. Of. Paper. From our relationship. SEE how much it is? And you want to throw all this away? There’s YEARS here, experiences, happy times!!!! Weren’t you happy? Iwas.
Last step, stretch. Go to my apartment. I know you still have your keys.
HAHAHAHA FUCK YOU!!!!!!!
I made sure to do it like someone else did it, and now your prints are EVERWHERE HOMIE!! I bet you even picked up that knife too, stupid shit. Too bad you don’t have a girlfriend to tell you it’s a bad idea to walk into an unlit apartment. I hope they throw the book at you asshole, I hope you get 95 for murder and some ripped prison dude makes YOU do anal on the first date. You fucker, you fucker
The preceding series of notes were found in anarchal order after the discovery of a lone female, age 24, lying dead in her apartment. Police were tipped off to the body’s location after neighbors complained about the smell emanating from the domicile. There was no sign of anyone but the occupant in the apartment.