*initiating start-up*

—lo and thank you for choosing InterStar Technologies, home of all your corporate security needs. We know you have had many choices for your in-house security system, thank you for sticking with InterStar.

Initiating floor sweep.


Floor 1 normal

Floor 2 normal

Floor 3 normal

Fire is detected in room 4-G. Initiating extinguisher system.

30% toxic compound detected in sector 7 of floor 5. Sealing ventilation from sector 5-7.

Automated shut-off of extinguisher system sustained fire damage. Auto shut-off failed. Room 4-G 2% water.

Please remember not to place personal items or limbs on InterStar PowerSills™ as automatic engagement may occur at any time. InterStar is not legally responsible for any property damage or loss of life from incorrect usage of PowerSill™ technology.

Automatic lock override shorted in 4-G. Room 9% water.

Unauthorized presence in fire stairs of floor 5. Initiating anti-terrorist measure PYTHIA. Locking down stairwell and flooding with sarin.

4-G 15% water.

Authentication of Employee passcard swipe on floor 5 failed.

Authentication of Employee passcard swipe on floor 5 failed.

Authentication of Employee passcard swipe on floor 5 failed. You have reached the maximum attempts on this employee card. Defensive measure 6-Alpha initiated, all employee card stations nullified.

Fire detected in first floor cafeteria. Initiating anti-terrorist measure ACRISIUS. Full-building lockdown, override measures disabled.

Debris detected on floor 1 PowerSill™ track. 3 injuries, 0 fatalities detected on floor 1.

Debris detected on floor 2 PowerSill™ track. 18 injuries, 3 fatalities detected on floor 2.

Debris detected on floor 3 PowerSill™ track. 45 injuries, 10 fatalities detected on floor 3.

Floor 4 PowerSill™ failed to engage. 4-G 26% water.

Manual access from floor 3 terminal acknowledged. Managerial input Quad-zero-zero-Psi acknowledged.

Sorry, cannot implement “open these fcuking doors you bitch.” Command not recognized.

Violence to terminal detected. Shutting down terminal functions.

4-G 34% water.

Security breach detected in handicap bathroom of 3-A. PowerSill™ disabled. Window broken and pressure sensors on fire escape indicate human presence. Disengaging fire escape.

Fire in floor 1 cafeteria no longer detected. Initiating “Crowd-pleaser” method of post-traumatic event crowd control. Anxiolytic spray dispersed.

Computer terminal access detected on floor 2. Attempted deep web override of security systems detected. Firewall breach detected. Enacting counter-defensive web measures. Enacting anti-hacker infrasonic program. Lockdown of floor 2.

Riotous activity detected in floor 1 cafeteria. Anxiolytic spray increased.

Roof access breached. Retracting helipad. Pigeon-deterring spikes engaged.

Attempted breach of security door in 4-G. Attempted breach failed. Room 68% water.

Signs of decreased movement in first floor cafeteria. Automatic nozzle shutoff failed. Anxiolytic spray continues.

Access to mainframe from executive terminal. Card swipe recognized. Pin recognized. Retinal scan recognized. Initiating “safe haven.” Pod with clean air supply, maximum 2 occupants has been engaged. One occupant entered. Pod has been sealed. **WARNING: UNKNOWN BLOCKAGE DETECTED ON AIR SUPPLY FEED. UNABLE TO REMOVE BLOCKAGE. POD HAS APPROXIMATELY FIVE MINUTES AIR LEFT**

4-G 83% water.

Oxygen in cafeteria dropping below breathable conditions. Initiating ventilation system. No movement detected.

Anxiolytic tanks depleted.  Ventilation system disengaged.

Assault on lobby doors detected. Assault on floor 2 camera system detected. Assault on floor 3 terminal. Initiating defensive measures. All subjects refusing to cease activity will be subject to mild eclectic shock of 80k volts.

Assault not ceased. Engaging defensive measures.

No movement detected in first floor lobby. No movement detected by floor 2 cameras. No movement detected at floor 3 terminal.

4-G 100% water. All fires extinguished indefinitely.

Leak detected on floor 4.

Automated call to emergency services failed. Line assumed damaged. Shutting down.

Water detected in main security viaduct. Initiating seals.

Seals defective. Initiating viaduct detachment.

Interference detected. Detachment failed.

Water detected in main terminal. Initia—

HeLlO aNd THanK yoU for cHOOsing InTeRStaR fOr aLL YOur CoRPoraTe sECuriTy NeEds. WE realize tHAt you hAve haD mANy chOiCes—NoT legally respON—anY and AlL quEStIons  two—PrIoriTIze security oVer thE  inDIviDual—ovER THe IndiVIdual—










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